We made it

We made it through the day. There were several moments where I thought my heart was gonna explode from the emotions running high and from holding back a burst of tears. I overheard a student say after their lunch count this morning “someone’s missing. Where’s ____?” at that point I realized most of the kids don’t know exactly who passed they just knew that somebody from school passed away. After school guidance broke the news, his classmates shared positive memories of their friend. I could feel my heart palpitate when a child said, ” he always made people feel special” I teared up but choked it back. Then I watched my child giving tissue out to a crying classmate and consoling him. I had no idea she had that characteristic. She made me smile.
My boss and coworkers were present at school today and yesterday. Let me tell you, it felt like a load was off by them being there! They were there as extra support to check on staff, faculty and me. I got so much support that it made me tear up. This kid had to move 6 hours away from home to get basic respect!
I have never worked a job where the support was present by everybody and not just a few individuals. I sat down in my office and thought back to the times where I was on the road seeing clients, working hard, long hours and never got time to take care of myself! When I had a kid overdose on anti depressants, NyQuil and benedryl on my first on call weekend. I worried so much about whether he was gonna live or die . By that Monday my nerves were fried but I was up, on the road, mind going 2,000 miles a min and ended up rear ending a lady on I-24. I never got support that day on anything, no debriefing,processing..nothing. Then 6 months later I totaled my vehicle while on the job..again nothing was done to make my life easier. At one job, I realized my body started working against me. I couldnt get things on track for about a year until I quit them jobs.
The list of non supportive moments goes on and on! If something was wrong then it must be something “you’re” not doing right. Again, that’s one reason why I moved outta Nashville bc the attitude of “you can be replaced” was ridiculous!

I received many compliments today from bosses. I almost don’t know how to take it. But I appreciate it to my core. In light of everything, I’m grateful for the ppl I work with and for. It’s been a rough go bc of this government stuff and i budget extra dividends to even get 50 miles to and from work but nonetheless this is the best I’ve ever felt on the job.
Thanks to God for the direction to travel this way. Thanks to my ppl for being the way they are to this sista! I’m truly blessed.
This makes it cool2bChrisP!

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