Mad at GOD!

I had to write my random memory down before heading to the gym. I sat in a New Year’s Eve church service out of town a few years ago and listened to a minister preaching hard about blessings and “this is your year!” “This is your year to prosper! YOUR YEAR of abundance and FINANCIAL BLESSINGS!” I really really disdain sermons like that, as church is not about wishing to be millionaires, or big ballers. Church is about edification,”saving souls and keeping souls saved.” As I sat there, I began to get angry at God for what the preacher was preaching about. Not realizing in my walk, that Our relationship had nothing to do with the over exuberant minister preaching that same ole tired New Year’s Eve sermon, to the vulnerable and most of the time the financially strapped individuals. I was PISSED whenever the minister would utter words about the best life, joy, financial, peace. My thought process was “HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! IT AINT BEEN GOOD AT ALL! I SHOOOO don’t see it getting any better in this year either! I hear this kind of stuff ALLLL the freaking TIME ABOUT this is YO YEAR! Pssshhh. PUHLESE!”

I remember sitting in the service talking to myself like this and mumbling. The time in my life where I felt like life was punching me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me..daily.. I felt left out in the whole living life more abundantly part of the program. I felt as though I was being punished for crimes I didn’t commit. And my attitude stayed like that for the remainder of the whole new year and the next year wasn’t my season either. So I was really spicy about that. Totally FRANK’s RED HOT SAUCE to the fullest. As “I put that ____ on everything!” 4 years a slave to total chaos.

What I did not realize was that everyday the Lord allowed me to have was the blessing..which to us is not extravagant, but it is a blessing. It is your season, even if it is a bad one, it’s a season that God chose for you to have and live THROUGH! Life since then has not been no crystal stair, but I don’t know if it’s because those “four years a slave”(not an actual slave, just my coin for it) made me stronger or if it’s really not as bad….

I do know that I am truly blessed to be right where I am at this moment in time. Ironically when I was “mad” at GOD, that’s when I did the most talking to Him..sometimes out loud! What put things to rest with my spirit was a dream I had. I had a dream of me being in boxing attire, with the full garb. The gloves, the shorts, shoes and everything. I don’t remember much of the fighting scene, I just knew there were some jabs taken and given in my dream. Next thing I knew, I walked out of the building with my hoodie on over my eyes, boxing gloves still on. A crowd of People are watching me, my demeanor and all is quiet around me. I looked up at everybody and then someone lifted up my arms to declare me victorious in the ring! I remember my arms being straight up in the air, smiling, crying and people cheering for me. I then did the boxing little jabbing and sway they do and it was an amazing feeling. I was Rocky Balboa in my dream! And God couldn’t have been any more on time for me in bringing me that dream than He was! I woke up crying and in joyful awe! I knew then that this too shall pass and I will be victorious at the end! What a mighty God we serve..

That dream and the season of me being “Frank’s Red Hot” in life made it Cool2bChrisP! That’s my blessing.

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